I’m about to get real religious, so consider yourself warned. The power that rose Jesus from the grave lives in me and that is the only way this is happening right now. Yeah, I’ve yelled that from my kitchen a time or two while making breakfasts, packing lunches, and counting carbs after getting next to no sleep.
But on a serious note, that is how I’ve made it through these last few months. I’m so very thankful for my relationship with the Lord and could not make it through this journey called life without it. Once upon a time, I was so very angry with Him. I’m so, so thankful that changed, and I can now turn to Him for strength when I simply have none left.
Here’s a short list of what the last two months have been like. My son Jackson, who is also type 1 diabetic, has had phenomena, a horrible virus that lead to an awful sounding cough and, of course, the craaaazy blood sugars that go with illness. Not to mention the tons of missed school and make up work. My daughter currently has strep throat and pink eye in not one but both eyes. Our insurance is no longer accepting the supplier we’ve been using for Jackson’s pump so I’ve got to find a new one. Oh, and there’s a job to do, house to run, family to feed, budget to maintain, and on and on and on.
As you can imagine, all of this is leading to very little sleep and ends with one exhausted mom who, let’s not forget, is dealing with her own issues (Yeah, I got issues … my husband would definitely agree with that). Speaking of my husband, the poor guy had to have a tooth pulled in the midst of all this chaos.
Getting back to my issues. My eye (which was injured in sixth grade in case you’re not familiar with the whole eye saga) has been hurting. I learned that the pressure is up in it. The doc added an eyedrop to my list of meds. My stomach swells at various times. No idea why, but when it happens, I look like one of two things are about to happen: 1. I’m going to give birth to our third child (I assure you this is not the case, thank God); or 2. I could pop like a balloon at any minute. Either way, the docs don’t seem too concerned, so I guess I’ll just keep keeping on and invest in pants that don’t zip or button.
I’ve also started breaking out in hives at random times — ‘cause, you know, that’s fun. I did this many years ago in high school. For some reason, it’s decided to return. Guess it missed the memo that it’s no longer welcome. I’m sure there’s more to the list, but running on the few hours of sleep that I’m running on, this is the best I can come up with.
But you know what? No matter how dark your world becomes, it can never extinguish the illuminating light of Jesus. This is a phrase from the First 5 App by Proverbs 31 Ministries and I absolutely love it! For one, it’s almost so long that it’s just ridiculous, but two, it’s such a great reminder to be grateful for all the good things around us no matter how bad it seems. And that’s what I’m doing. If we’re going to make it through life without going completely insane, we’ve got to take time to appreciate all the good things in our lives no matter how small we deem them to be. I hope you’re doing that!
There are so many things in this world to be angry or upset about, but God has blessed us with so much. I hope you’re taking the time to be grateful for them and truly appreciate them. I’m talking stop and drink them in with the kind of inhale that fills the soul! And remember, when you feel like you just can’t handle anymore, that same power that rose Jesus from the grave lives in you!
If you don’t have a relationship with Christ or a church to foster that relationship, I encourage you to look into it. And if you have a church, but it’s been a while since you’ve been, get your butt back in there! Your body, mind, and soul will be thankful that you did.
Jennifer Runyon is a freelance writer who shares her life stories living with Type 1 diabetes for 28 years and whose young son also has been diagnosed with the disease. Email her at [email protected]